So, while perusing all the creepy baby doll pics yesterday, I hit upon an idea for a practical joke that I may actually turn into a long running gag sort of thing. Because there is just so much creepy material out there for me to work with!
I snagged a pic of one of the more realistic looking newborns similar to the one above, and made a fake "birth announcement" and prepared a "Surprise! What I thought was a gallbladder attack was actually labor!! Here's the new bundle of joy" email to go along with it. I then sent it to my parents and my other genetic acquaintance and waited.
I figured that my mom would immediately get the joke, especially since she just saw me on Mother's Day. She actually surprised me by totally freaking the hell out and wanting to know which hospital I was in. Even after I explained to her it was a DOLL, she didn't believe me. I made her call my aunt, who does these sorts of crafty things and she confirmed that yes, they make them look that real. I think she was kind of bummed afterward though.
My dad on the other hand, found it extremely hysterical, and much more economical to have this sort of grandchild. He's looking forward to taking it "fishing" someday.
Now my other set of *cough*sneer*cough* "parents" weren't so amused. I got a lecture on responsibility and my inappropriate sense of humor. Guess they won't get the holiday pictures as the years go by! hehehe!
My co-worker and I were in stitches during the flurry of phone calls. She even had to vouch for me that I was at work. Sure beats the tedium of packing!!
I need to marry one of these men! They understand my weird quirks (disabling fear of amphibians and reptiles) and wrote a song that proves it. Although the one on the right kind of has that frog eyeball thing happening. And nocturnal badgers...
Well Chameleon has his CCC, so here goes mine. Like me it's going to be short. Hehe.
I got out to Faire at around 10 a.m. on Friday, since I had the new SUV I had no problem getting back to camping, although, I was sliding all over the place.
I went into town with the Camp Mofo crew where the first deluge hit, and when we got back, we ran into George who was putting up yellow tape at the entrance to the campgrounds and told us that the grounds were closed because of the road. We went up anyway, and YIKES! I think I had several heart attacks. On another note, the locals in town aren't friendly. We have been banned from the liquor store and the cops were called because we're "Drunken Heathen Pagans Who Track Mud in the Store." Buy a floor mat, asshole.
As the day went on, people started trickling in, carrying their camping stuff on their backs. People had gotten stuck and/or told they couldn't go camp, but everyone tried just the same. There was huge confusion because the landowner was out there telling everyone faire was closed and he was closing camping because it was his land.
Then we were told that they weren't letting any cars up, but faire would be open. And it went back and forth like that all freaking day. Some asshat was tooling around and got his truck stuck in the fork at the top of the hill, then somebody else hauling a trailer got jacknifed and stuck in that same area.
The backhoe operator wasn't on duty that weekend, and apparently, we were going to be left to our own devices. We heard that the rennies offered to go grab mulch and fix the roads, but management wouldn't allow them to put it down. People just kept on coming anyway, and pretty soon we had a really decent crowd and the fun began.
Someone brought in some pine shavings and the place turned into a giant hamster cage sans the giant wheel, then the really nasty storms hit in the middle of the night, and by the next morning the mud and pine shavings were a disgusting mix of sludge.
Faire was open on Saturday, but the front was pretty disgusting and other than the rennies, it looked pretty sparse. I mostly stuck around camp and mucked about and got filthy, so I don't know if it got any better.
By that evening the worst parts had starting drying up and the party started. Then at 11:00, Terri came up and was trying to collect for faire and camping and to tell us to shut the drum jam down. I don't think this went over very well at all, after being told we were on our own and not to expect management to do anything or let us do anything to alleviate the mud problem.
We didn't shut it down, the fire show freaking rocked and the last time I checked it was 2:00 a.m. and most everyone was still going strong. Apparently, the water pissed the snakes off and they took refuge under tents. I am soooo glad I missed that part, cause the ambulance probably couldn't have gotten up there and taken me away after I passed the hell out if I had seen one. LOL.
Oh where to start.......as Maria von Trapp would say, "start at the very beginning."
I decided to go back to Excal and just camp for the weekend and prepare for the onslaught of hell that will be work this next week. I made really good time on Friday and got there while it was still light. Akt was kind enough to set my tent and air mattress up for me before I got there. However, since it was off in the woods, and not many people were camping, it was kind of Blair Witch Creepy.
Luckily, the gang at Camp MoFo was back and let me hang out with them and fed me and I kept them well sloshed with lots o' Scornicide. I also kept myself pretty well sloshed with said beverage, so much so, that I was stumbling in the dark and came across Dax's heavy duty rake. I stepped on said rake and it popped up and smacked me dead on in the face. Within five minutes I had a big old goose egg of a lump on my forehead. Akt then started poking it to try and get the swelling down. I think I smacked him around a lot.
I only went into faire for about an hour on Saturday and that was at 4:00 and I was mundane. I was pretty much moving very slow. My friend from Austin came in and after being a doofus, we got him to come back up to camp. I was evil and pawned him off on Akt. lol
Everyone got settled in for a night of bonfire, drinking, drumming, dancing. It rocked and everyone was really having a great time, until some VERY, VERY, VERY drunk chick (whom I had words with about an hour before about her jacking up the dance circle rotation and making it screwed up) decides to fall into the fire pit, and burn the hell out of herself.
Take a bunch of VERY drunk opinionated Rennies, some mustard, and you have en epic battle of wills over HOW to take care of the burned person. I got fed up and yelled alot about shutting up and just going to the hospital and getting help. Pissed off, bitch from hell Scorn came barrelling out of the gates for the rest of the night. Apparently, I was very snarky, bitchy, and entertaining all at once.
Sunday, I woke up feeling like the alien from Mars Attacks! with the giant head from hell. I never made it into faire, and was so unmotivated and hungover that rather than take down my tent, I gave it to some other folks.
I finally got home and slept like the dead for a few hours. I really need to install like an automatic Scornicide gauge the next time I go to faire. Because when Hurricane walks into your camp and sings to you "YOU were DRRRRRRUUUUUUNNNNNK" you know that's bad.
